The Hexman Returns To Help Yanks

So I have come back to this site, where it all began so many years ago
You all remember my work in the '96 Series, for I was as good as our manager, Joe

I come here tonight with passion and plenty of pinstripe might
I will help our Yankees snap out of this funk, and send them into flight

Our offense has been surprisingly silent and I have to end this drought soon
The Yankees are 11 games out of first place, and we are nearing the end of June

So starting on June 28th, the Hexman is demanding that the Yankee bats come alive
It's time to play some serious ball, boys, and put a halt to this embarrassing dive

The Hexman is asking Johnny Damon to step up to the plate and finally get healthy
C'mon, Johnny, you owe us that much, for the Yanks have made you very wealthy

At the top of the Yankee order, we need you to provide a spark
Without you consistently getting on base, our offense will remain in park

Hideki you have been struggling, and oh, how we long for the days you made the right-field bleachers your villa
Fear not #55, the ol' Hexman is here to make sure you return to the player we loved to call Godzilla

Mr. Abreu, the Hexman has noticed you are trying much too hard
Starting tonight, just relax at the plate and you just might go yard

Our talented second baseman, Cano must learn good things come to those who wait
Robbie, don't be afraid to take some pitches before you do your serious slashing at the plate

If I, the Hexman, can get these guys hitting, our offense will be so much sweeter
Can you imagine these guys hitting with Rodriguez, Posada, and Jeter?

The Hexman is satisfied with a rotation of Wang, Clemens, Mussina, and Pettitte
And like the rotisserie we see on TV, all Torre will have to do to this team is, set it and forget it

For those out there who laugh at me because I still feel this team will win it all
Be very careful the rest of the way, "experts", because on June 28th, the Hexman has come to play some ball

I have done my job for you, Yankee fans, and I say this with a straight face
Talk to you later in the year, when our Yankees are in first place

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